In a cheeky twist, Tinder’s latest global study, dubbed “The Green Flags Study,” spills the tea on what’s really going down in the dating scene in 2024. Forget everything you thought you knew about men and women on dating apps because the times, they are changing. From communication mishaps to finding green flags and how to win your date, the study covers all you need to know about dating in 2024.

See also: Swipe, share, socialize: Tinder brings your crew into the decision making

Surprising similarities: The heart wants what it wants

The study roped in 8,000 lovelorn souls from the US, UK, Canada, and Australia and discovered a startling revelation: both men and women crave romance more than you’d think. A whopping 68% of women and 53% of men are on the prowl for true love, not just a quick swipe.

Busting myths: Not just a casual fling

Contrary to the popular belief that men are just in it for a casual fling, the stats show a different story. Only 29% of men admitted to preferring casual relationships, debunking the myth that nearly two-thirds of women believed about men’s intentions. Looks like everyone’s tired of playing games.

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The great miscommunication: Seeing red where there should be green

Both sides seem to be misreading signals like a poorly written text message. The study highlighted that many men and women mistake “green flags” for “red flags,” leading to a whole lot of unnecessary drama. Men think women are all about height and job titles, while women assume men dismiss anything long-term. Spoiler: They’re both wrong.

Old-school romance in a new-school world

Despite our digitally dominated lives, traditional romance isn’t dead—it’s just evolved. While 78% of men and 84% of women are seeking an equal partner, ladies still appreciate a good chivalrous gesture, and no, it’s not just about opening doors. According to the study, ensuring your date gets home safely and ditching your phone during dinner rank high on the modern chivalry list.

What’s the real “F” word?

When it comes to feminism, there’s still a bit of a disconnect. Though a solid 74% of men are cool with dating someone who earns more, only 50% of women believe men are open to this idea. And while one in three men shies away from calling themselves feminists, half of the women surveyed are all for it.

Less assumptions, more love

So, what can we take away from Tinder’s eye-opening revelations? It’s simple: drop the assumptions, keep an open mind, and maybe, just maybe, those green flags will start popping up more often. In a world where everyone is “very online,” finding genuine connection is possible—if we all just swipe right on honesty and transparency.

So next time you’re doom scrolling or chatting up a potential match, remember: the truth is out there, and now, it’s also statistically proven. Happy swiping fellas.

Feature image by Josh Hild

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Tinder is spicing up the dating game by introducing “Share My Date,” a nifty new feature designed to make getting ready for a hot date an affair to remember. Now, not only can you swipe right, but you can also bring your friends and even dear old mom into the loop with just a few taps. This feature lets users share their date plans — from sipping lattes to catching the latest blockbuster — directly from the app with their chosen crew.

See also: The key to better sex (and performance): Doing yoga

Share my date

Whether it’s a casual coffee hangout or an evening at the movies, over half of the under-30 singles are already cluing in their pals about who they’re meeting, where, and when. And yes, about one in five of you are telling your mom too! Melissa Hobley, Tinder’s CMO, remarks, “At Tinder, we’re always crafting new features that enhance the fun, safety, and respect of dating adventures. ‘Share My Date’ simplifies sharing the essentials so you can dive into the real fun — from picking the perfect outfit to brainstorming clever conversation starters.”

The intrigue of “Share My Date” lies in its simplicity and inclusivity. With a simple link, daters can send over all the juicy details like location, date, time, and even a snapshot of their charming match. What’s more? This feature is flexible — date details can be tweaked last-minute, ensuring your trusted circle is always in the loop.

So ready your phones, and your friends, because “Share My Date” is rolling out in major countries including the US, UK, Australia, Canada, and many more in the upcoming months.

Feature image by Christian Lue

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The elephant in the room: Yes, erectile dysfunction affects 2-in-5-men.

As men age, the prevalence of erectile dysfunction rises significantly, affecting 70% of men by the age of 70, leading to a projected surge in the global erectile dysfunction drugs market to $7.1 billion by 2032. However, studies indicate that enhancing pelvic floor muscle health offers a promising natural remedy, with pelvic floor muscle exercises demonstrating a remarkable improvement in erectile function for 75% of participants. In response to this growing need, LloydsPharmacy Online Doctor has developed a comprehensive solution: a 20-minute yoga tutorial and a seven-minute guided breathwork routine specifically designed to strengthen men’s pelvic floor muscles. This accessible routine can be performed at home without any equipment, led by acclaimed yoga instructor and pelvic floor health expert, Anthony Moran, offering an effective and convenient approach to addressing erectile dysfunction concerns.

Pelvic floor health is often neglected by men 

Too often, pelvic floor health is not a priority for men themselves, or more widely, the medical profession. However, studies have shown that strengthening weak pelvic floor muscles can help to improve common men’s health issues like:

• Erectile dysfunction (ED)
• Premature ejaculation (PE)
• Performance anxiety
• Incontinence

LloydsPharmacy Online Doctor, partnered with leading yoga instructor and pelvic floor health expert, Anthony Moran, to create a men’s yoga tutorial which targets the pelvic floor muscles. The 20-minute video is designed to help men enjoy better sex and retain bowel and bladder control.

For men who are less mobile, Anthony has also created a breathwork exercise. This five-step ancient breathing technique can help to:

• Calm anxiety and stress
• Combat ED, PE and performance anxiety

At the end of the guide, yoga advocate and Independent Prescribing Pharmacist at LloydsPharmacy Online Doctor, Peeyush Bahl, explains the medical science behind men’s pelvic floor health. Bahl outlines the benefits of each yoga pose and details why it’s so important for men to prioritize their pelvic floor health, especially as they get older. 

Men’s yoga helps target the pelvic floor muscles 

The quick and easy yoga routine focuses on engaging and strengthening your pelvic floor muscles. These are the band of muscles between the tailbone and the pubic bone that support the bladder, bottom, and penis. 

Here’s a step-by-step guide to Yoga for men, targeting the pelvic floor muscles

Triangle pose (trikonasana) 

The energizing, triangle pose opens the hips and stretches the groin and hamstrings. It also stimulates blood flow to the pelvic region.

Yogi squat pose (malasana) 

Yogi squat is one of the best poses for strengthening the pelvic floor and thigh muscles. This grounding pose also benefits mental health by calming the mind. 

Cat and cow pose (marjaryasana and bitilasana)

Cat pose is generally followed by cow, its counterpose. As well as softly stretching the back, torso and neck, it stimulates the adrenal glands, promoting hormonal health.

Happy baby pose (ananda balasana) 

An anxiety-calming pose, happy baby stretches the inner thighs, hips and groin. Alongside this, it can help to relieve back pain.

Reclining bound angle pose (supta baddha konasana) 

This pose involves opening the hips and groin, stimulating the reproductive system and promoting relaxation and reducing anxiety.

Easy breathwork routine to target the pelvic floor muscles

In this 7-minute breathwork tutorial, Anthony walks you through alternate nostril breathing which is designed to calm anxiety and reduce stress, helping to promote healthy bladder, bowel, and sexual organ function.

The link between pelvic floor health and men’s health conditions 

Peeyush Bahl is a Prescribing Pharmacist at LloydsPharmacy Online Doctor. He has been practising yoga for 10 years and advocates strongly for the practice of yoga to tackle men’s physical and mental health concerns.

The link between the pelvic floor muscles and erectile dysfunction

“Erectile dysfunction (ED) is when you are either unable to get an erection or can’t keep an erection for long enough to have sex,” says Bahl.

“Around 41% of men in the UK suffer with the condition and it becomes more prevalent as men age. By age 70, 70% of men are affected. Sadly, more than two-thirds of men with ED are unlikely to seek medical advice.” 

“Treatment for ED depends on the cause. It is commonly brought on by stress, tiredness or drinking too much alcohol. However, it can also be caused by more serious conditions such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and diabetes.”

“One of the most common and best-known ED treatments is Viagra which works by increasing blood flow to the penis. Last year, the NHS spent over £5.8 million on prescriptions for the medication.”

“However, exercises which strengthen the pelvic floor muscles could be a natural solution to tackling erectile dysfunction. The pelvic floor muscles play a key role in getting and maintaining an erection. In one study, pelvic floor muscle exercises improved erectile function in 75% of men.”

The link between the pelvic floor muscles and performance anxiety

“Sexual performance anxiety (SPA) is when you experience feelings of unease, worry or fear related to sexual situations. These emotions can make it difficult to have and enjoy sex. ED can be a symptom of SPA.”

“Estimations vary but it’s thought SPA may affect up to one in four (25%) men. There are multiple recommended treatment options for SPA including self-care, psychological therapy and medication.” 

The link between the pelvic floor muscles and premature ejaculation

“Premature ejaculation (PE) is when a man ejaculates too quickly during sex. PE can be caused by both physical conditions and psychological factors.”

“Self-help techniques are usually recommended in the first instance. If these fail to help, medicines including tablets and topical creams may be prescribed.”

“Data indicates that too often, prescription medicine is being overly relied on. 55% of internet searches are medication-related, compared to just 2% who are seeking natural solutions. NHS prescription data supports this trend – 2023 saw a 62% increase in prescriptions for PE tablet medication, Dapoxetine.”

“For those seeking a natural alternative, pelvic floor muscle rehabilitation can be a holistic approach for overcoming PE. In a medical study, physiotherapy that targeted the pelvic floor muscles was proven to be an effective treatment method for 83% of participants with lifelong PE.”

The link between the pelvic floor muscles and bladder and bowel control

“Urinary or bladder incontinence is the unintentional passing of urine. It affects around 7-million people in the UK and becomes more common with age. Sadly, it often also has an effect on the individual’s mental health.”

“It’s often seen as a women’s issue but it’s estimated 1-in-3 (33%) of men over the age of 65 will experience urinary incontinence.” 

“What’s more, some men’s health conditions and treatments can also trigger bladder incontinence. Benign prostate enlargement is common in men over the age of 50 and is associated with changes to bladder function. Similarly, a common side effect of treatment for prostate cancer (which affects 1-in-8-men) is urinary problems.” 

“Bowel incontinence is the inability to control bowel movements. It is thought one in ten (10%) will be affected by it at some point in their life. Like bladder incontinence, it becomes more common with age. And it is more common in women.” 

“The NHS recommend incontinence pads and other products only as temporary measures for people awaiting diagnosis or for treatment to work. But reviews suggest an excessive reliance on pads as a long-term solution in lieu of more appropriate treatment.” 

“As well as having the potential to cause skin irritation, infections and emotional distress, incontinence pads are expensive. The NHS is estimated to spend £80 million per year on incontinence pads.”

“In men, the pelvic floor muscles support the anus (back passage) and urethra (bladder outlet). If these muscles are weak, they cannot support these two openings effectively, leading to bladder and bowel control problems.”

“Strengthening the pelvic floor through specific kegel exercises or activities like yoga has been shown to benefit bladder and bowel control.”

How yoga can be a natural solution to conditions linked to weak pelvic floor muscles

“Conditions caused by poor pelvic floor health affect millions of men in the UK and impact mental and physical health, sexual fulfilment, independence and more. Plus, treating and managing these conditions costs the NHS huge sums of money.”

“Yoga can aid mental and physical wellbeing through its focus on strength, flexibility and breathing. Yoga poses like triangle, yogi squat and happy baby that target the pelvic floor muscles offer the added benefit of relieving the men’s health symptoms associated with a weak pelvic floor.”

Editor's note: This is a guest submission from Peeyush Bahl and Anthony Moran on behalf of Lloyd's Pharmacy Online Doctors, but not sponsored.

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Life often serves up unexpected nuggets of wisdom in the most unlikely places. Recently, as I was making my way over to a “friends” house at 3AM, a simple phrase graffitied on the side of a building set my thoughts in motion: ‘Life’s a climb, but the views are great.’ As I pondered these words walking down Main Street, a deeper realization struck me: if life is a climb, then surely sex is the ultimate ascent, with pleasures awaiting at every summit. Now, why did this thought veer into the realm of provocation while noticing a simple quote graffitied on a building? Perhaps it’s a discussion best saved for my therapist.

Yet, here I am, navigating the single life for over a year, dipping my toes back into the dating pool, and experiencing my fair share of romantic and physical escapades. It sparked a curiosity in me: How can I elevate these encounters with my dates, partners, or midnight companions (if you must)? The quest led me to delve into ways of not just enhancing my personal sexual growth but evolving into a lover, partner, and midnight companion that brings pleasure to others. Enter edging!

And if you don’t know what edging is, well, I’m here to help you slide into the tantalizing world of edging, or as the experts like to call it, the art of orgasm control, where the journey to climax becomes an exhilarating game of brinkmanship. Picture it as toeing the line between ecstasy and self-control, a dance on the edge of pleasure that’s both playful and powerful.

Now, before you get all excited and  try to see how you can make your ‘Big O’ last longer and feel greater, there’s a few important things we need to walkthrough to help you better understand mastering edging techniques for enhanced pleasure and how you can go from being the ‘Two-minute Tim’ to the ‘Edge master.’ And to do that, first we need to understand The Sexual Response Cycle. 

See also: Red Tuesday: Why are couples breaking up on this day?

The sexual response cycle: Navigating the peaks and plateaus

Consider it the place where arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution create the roadmap to ecstasy. From heightened sensitivity to muscle tension and spasms, every phase has its own allure. But the real magic happens on the plateau, that sweet spot right before the grand finale. It’s like reaching the peak of a roller coaster before the exhilarating plunge.

Arousal: In the arousal phase, which can last from minutes to hours, physiological changes occur, such as increased muscle tension, quickened heart rate, flushed skin, and genital responses like erection and lubrication. 

Plateau: The plateau phase intensifies these changes, leading to further swelling of genital organs and heightened sensitivity. 

Orgasm: The orgasm phase is marked by involuntary muscle contractions, peak blood pressure, and the release of sexual tension, culminating in rhythmic contractions or ejaculation. 

Resolution: The resolution phase sees a gradual return to normal functioning, with body parts returning to their previous state, and is accompanied by a sense of well-being, enhanced intimacy, and often fatigue. Women may experience rapid return to orgasm, while men have a refractory period during which another orgasm is not possible.

The pleasures of edging and why it’s more than just a tease

Indulging in the art of edging can unlock a world of pleasure that goes far beyond mere teasing—it’s an exquisite dance with desire that heightens both anticipation and satisfaction. So, let’s break this down further: This tantalizing technique involves intentionally delaying orgasm, allowing arousal to peak before finally succumbing to the ecstasy of release. The pleasures of edging lie in the delicate balance between holding back and letting go, creating a symphony of sensations that can lead to a more intense and gratifying climax.

Beyond the physical delights, edging fosters a deeper connection between partners, as it encourages open communication about desires and boundaries. It transforms lovemaking into a shared exploration, where both partners actively participate in the rhythmic dance of pleasure. Ok, now that we’ve given you a nice introduction. Let’s get to the pleasures of edging and why you should consider giving it a… stroke? 

Amplified Orgasms: Edging turns the bedroom into a captivating playground, where delaying the big finale transforms a regular climax into a grand finale. It’s all about teasing the senses, building up that sizzling sexual tension, and making every pause a drumroll to an epic release. With mindfulness and a dash of playful restraint, edging isn’t just about reaching the peak – it’s a symphony of pleasure, a dance of desire that leaves you and your partner on the edge of ecstasy. It’s the art of turning the ordinary into extraordinary, one alluring pause at a time. Get ready for an orgasmic encore!

Orgasm Training: It’s like training for the most pleasurable marathon of your life. Consider it a workout for your intimate muscles, a stamina-building routine that lets you go the distance in bed. This tantalizing technique involves intentionally delaying orgasm and bringing yourself to the brink of climax and then stopping/winding yourself, allowing arousal to peak before finally succumbing to the ecstasy of release.

Play with Power: Edging isn’t just a solo sport. In BDSM realms, it’s the art of orgasm denial, where one partner takes control of the other’s pleasure. Just remember, consent and clearcut communication is the key to this game. Define your boundaries, kinks, and safewords in an open, judgment-free environment. After that, get wild with it! 

The edging toolkit

In the pursuit of the perfect edge, consider adding some toys to your arsenal:

Vibrators:

These handy gadgets add a new dimension to your plateau experience, intensifying sensations and making the denial all the more satisfying. Yes, gents you can use a vibrator too. Did you know that the male G-Spot is located in the prostate? Not to worry, we won’t overwhelm you with that today. There’ll be more on that another time. 

Hugo Prostate Massager by Lelo

Brace yourself for mind-blowing pleasure. This app-connected prostate massager featuring dual powerful motors — perfect for solo or couples play, it offers hands-free enjoyment with intense vibrations.

$186.75 | Lelo

Medium Cone Dildo by Maude

Discreet and easy to use, this 3-speed vibrating plug boasts a sleek tapered shape and a flared base, ensuring a comfortable and secure fit. Say hello to endless pleasure in a compact, travel-friendly package!

$68 | Maude

Tush Massager by Bellesa

This sleek and stylish anal plug features a powerful internal motor with ten unique vibration modes designed to deliver deep, rumbly vibrations for maximum pleasure. Whether you prefer a gentle hum or a powerful pulse, Tush’ll hit the spot.

$89 | Bellesa

Strokers & Masturbators

Why not give your hand a break and let a masturbation sleeve take the reins? With a plethora of designs boasting textures that rival the real deal, these sleeves offer a tantalizing journey to discover sensations you never knew your “right there” could experience. It’s like a GPS for pleasure, guiding you down uncharted paths of arousal with every stroke.

Quickshot Compact Masturbator by Fleshlight

Whether you’re craving some shared excitement with a partner or seeking to elevate your solo play, this sleek and affordable masturbator, priced under $40, is guaranteed to exceed your expectations and leave you feeling fully satisfied.

$39.99 | Lovehoney

Helping Head Pro by Goodhead

Elevate your oral experiences from good to mind-blowing with the Good Head Helping Head Pro Stroker. Crafted from ultra-soft UltraSkyn, it snugly envelops your shaft, while the array of soft textured nubs inside ensures every stroke hits just the right spot.

$14.99 | Adam & Eve

F1S V2 Blowjob Simulator by Lelo

Lelo crafts the highest quality sex toys out there. Indulge in the ultimate pleasure with the F1S. Sonic waves heighten every sensation, while its sleek design ensures discretion. Plus, track your performance stats for a next-level experience.

$210 | Lelo

Penis Rings

If you’ve never tried a cock ring before, it’s natural to feel a bit apprehensive about diving into this aspect of sexual exploration. But fear not, cock rings function by applying gentle pressure to restrict blood flow to the penis, resulting in heightened sensations and most importantly, rock hard erections that last longer.

Rocket Cock Ring by Satisfyer

Wrap this around your penis for an intensified experience that slows down but heightens pleasure. Plus, its design spreads good vibes to your partner’s clitoris or taint for shared ecstasy.

$39.95 | Satisyer

Pivot Cock Ring by WeVibe

With its smart, flexible silicone design, the We-Vibe Pivot ensures a comfortable and stable fit for most sizes. Enjoy the freedom to explore a variety of positions during sex, enhancing pleasure for both partners.

$169 | Bellesa

Cock Ring by Beauty7

Enjoy the benefits of a cock ring without breaking the bank. Affordable and effective, this ring is ideal for beginners. Crafted from super stretchy silicone, it adapts to most penis sizes with ease. Plus, its flat design ensures stability and prevents discomfort during wear.

$13.99 | Amazon

The pleasure is in your hands

Just remember. The beauty of edging lies in your hands—both literally and figuratively. Listen to your body, communicate with your partner, and explore your boundaries. Remember, it’s all about pleasure, not pressure. And if you’re worried about “blue balls,” fear not; it’s more of a myth than a reality.

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Chocolates, roses and heart break? Red Tuesday is here and apparently, it’s the most likely time of year when couples break up…right before the big day. So what is it that causes couples to break up? Is it the pressure leading up to Valentines Day or perhaps it’s when people take real stock of where they’re at in their relationships only to realize they’re in an unhappy place and it’s time to make a change. Well, money is also a big one and that’s not the least bit surprising considering the economic times we live in.

See also: Is sober curious dating just a trend, or here to stay? Here’s what the experts have to say…

1 in 3

According to a survey conducted by Simplii Financial, 1 in 3 young Canadians (18-34) have broken up with their partner over money (ouch). That’s a pretty high number if you ask me and also tells me that people just aren’t communicating properly. Additionally, 4 in 10 Canadians say money is a major cause of stress in their relationship. Who’s responsible for the dog’s grooming bill?

So what else did the survey say? Well 33% of Canadians feel like they’re going at it “alone” when it comes to their personal finances. To an earlier point, 46% aged 18-34 identify money as a major issue in the relationship. Finally, 73% think their partners could manage their finances better.

How to solve this (non) love bug

“While money can’t buy love, personal finances can make or break a romantic relationship,” said Jimmy Dinh, Managing Director, Simplii Financial. “The good news is that effective communication and a few simple tips can go a long way to help.” Relationship expert Jen Kirsch adds, “Financial compatibility is not just about numbers; it’s about trust, communication, and shared goals. Open dialogue about money is essential for building a strong foundation in any relationship.”

So what could this look like? Well one way, according to Kirsch, is splitting the bill. The reality is we no longer live in a world where one income is enough anymore. Setting aside the wild debates about gender roles and who’s responsible for what, just logically speaking, the average income in Canada can barely afford to sustain a basic style of living. Two incomes are necessary and that’s the ugly truth.

Another approach Kirsch adds is to get on the same page as your partner. Set out your goals and be intentional with how you plan and budget so you don’t find yourself cash-strapped or facing a massive bill at the end of that beautiful trip to Italy where you signed up for one too many wine tastings.

Feature image by Towfiqu barbhuiya

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In an intriguing twist to modern dating, Tinder, through an Ipsos study, reveals a significant shift among young Canadian adults. There appears to be a trend towards a more moderate approach to alcohol consumption dubbed sober curious dating. This trend, however, comes with its own set of social dilemmas, especially in the dating arena. Is this simply a temporary trend or are daters skipping drinks altogether?

See also: The power of “I feel” statements

Trending stats

The survey for Tinder, engaging 1,000 Canadians aged 18 to 34, uncovers that one-third of this demographic is either embracing a Dry or Damp January – opting out of alcohol entirely or consuming it more mindfully. This change reflects a broader cultural shift, with 67% of respondents actively trying to limit their alcohol intake and 73% perceiving alcohol as less significant in their lives.

Despite these evolving attitudes, the social fabric of dating still seems tightly woven with alcohol consumption. A notable 69% of young adults admit to drinking on dates, influenced by a palpable societal expectation to indulge. This pressure is particularly pronounced among women, with 14% feeling more compelled to drink compared to 7% of men.

The reasons for drinking on dates are varied, with 38% citing relaxation and easing nerves as their primary motive. Surprisingly, nearly 10% couldn’t pinpoint why they followed this norm. This pattern is mirrored in their preferred date locations, with restaurants (34%) and movie theaters (15%) topping the list, often environments where alcohol is readily available.

Less is more?

Despite the prevalence of drinking in dating scenarios, there’s a growing interest in profiles of individuals who either abstain or are occasional drinkers. This sentiment is shared by 31% of young adults, indicating a shift towards more sober dating preferences.

In essence, while young Canadians are increasingly drawn to sober lifestyles, the dating scene remains a bastion of traditional drinking norms. As these cultural tides continue to shift, it presents an intriguing dynamic in how future relationships might be formed and nurtured in a society that’s gradually embracing sobriety.

Feature image by René Ranisch

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If you’ve read any of my previous articles on relationships, you’ll see a common theme: communication. Effective communication is the backbone for creating meaningful relationships. Historically, men have been encouraged to suppress emotions, but there is a shift toward embracing vulnerability and emotional expression. In this transformation, I present “I feel” statements as a powerful tool in facilitating healthy communication.

“I feel” statements may seem simple but are essential for expressing thoughts and emotions constructively. They bridge our innermost feelings and the world, nurturing clarity and empathy in interactions with peers, partners, and colleagues. At their core, “I feel” statements promote emotional intelligence by encouraging self-awareness and emotional articulation.

See also: Understanding bids for connection

How to use “I feel” statements

These statements create a safe space for dialogue by providing a non-confrontational pathway to express emotions without blame or accusations. For instance, instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” say, “I feel unheard during our conversations.” This shift defuses tensions and fosters constructive dialogue.

“I feel” statements lay the groundwork for empathy and active listening. When individuals share feelings, they invite others to step into their emotional shoes, encouraging understanding instead of defensiveness. This approach nurtures collaboration, resolution, and personal growth. 

Masculinity within speaking intentionally

Being a male, opening up through this style of communication can be uncomfortable. Many men may also believe that if they are to open up in this way it may somehow make them less masculine. I’m telling you it can be quite the opposite. Owning your emotions and presenting them with composure empowers the speaker to navigate a myriad of conversations. By openly sharing emotions, it will also become easier to seek and find solutions while strengthening the emotional connection with those around you.

The significance of “I feel” statements in the lives of men is immeasurable. These unassuming phrases hold the power to unlock healthier, more genuine relationships, nurture emotional intelligence, and construct bridges toward mutual understanding.

Feature image by Ricky Esquivel

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There’s a feeling of disappointment when you make a gesture to someone in your life and it goes unrecognized. Contrarily, a rush of dopamine is associated with an action or comment that is well received. Which is why we love it when our social media posts do well. Whether it’s in friendships, romantic relationships, or business interactions , this is all part of what helps us understand bids for connection and why we long to build meaningful connections.

See also: How to communicate needs in your relationship

What are bids for connection?

Bids for connection are actions, gestures, or statements that individuals use to seek attention, support, validation, or engagement from others. They can be subtle or overt and take various forms such as sharing personal stories, seeking advice, expressing emotions, or simply making small talk. Bids serve as the building blocks of connection, representing opportunities for meaningful interactions that foster trust, empathy, and understanding between individuals.

Bids for connection can be categorized into three main types: verbal, non-verbal and digital. Verbal bids involve direct communication through spoken words, while non-verbal bids rely on body language, facial expressions, or subtle cues. In today’s digital age, bids can also manifest in the form of text messages, snapchats, or sending a meaningful video over Instagram. Understanding the diverse nature of bids allows us to navigate various communication channels effectively and adapt our responses accordingly.

Recognizing and responding to bids

Recognizing bids for connection is essential for establishing and nurturing relationships. Whether the relationship is romantic or friendly, bids are often disguised as ordinary conversations in seemingly insignificant moments. By paying attention and being present in our interactions, however, we can identify and respond appropriately to these bids. Acknowledging and responding positively to bids demonstrates our interest, respect, and willingness to engage, which creates a foundation for deeper and more meaningful connections

Responding to bids for connection involves active listening, empathy, and validation. It’s crucial to give them our attention, show genuine interest, and provide supportive responses. Validating bids, even if we cannot meet them at the moment, conveys understanding and respect. Additionally, reciprocating bids by sharing our own stories, asking follow-up questions, or offering assistance fosters a sense of mutual investment and strengthens the connection

When building stronger connections, we can cultivate certain habits and practices. These include practicing active listening, expressing empathy, and being present in conversations. Developing self-awareness and understanding our own bid patterns can also help us recognize and respond to bids more effectively. Bids for connection are the building blocks of meaningful relationships. By recognizing and responding to bids, we can deepen our connections with those in our lives.

Feature image credit Roman Odintso

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There are very few things in this world that hurt more than the ting of a breakup. And if you’ve ever experienced one, you’ll know that breakups are undeniably one of the most challenging experiences life can throw at us. Not only are you experiencing the absence of someone you thought would remain a constant in your life, but you’re also grappling with the shift in your identity sans ex and grieving the future you had once envisioned. While navigating a breakup may seem like an impossible feat, there are different coping mechanisms to help you heal and move on. So, to all the healing hearts out there, here are 10 steps to help you bounce back and navigate heartache like a pro.

See also: Reframing how to navigate life’s challenges

10 rules for the post-breakup:

1. Hit the unfollow button

Sever the digital connection. Believe me when I tell you, nothing good will come of having a continuous digital gateway to your ex. This will only cause heightened distress, anxiety, sense of longing and hinder your personal growth. As my grandmother would say, your best bet is to go cold turkey. (And yes, that means Instagram, BeReal, Snapchat and your finsta too.)

2. Give yourself space to grieve

It’s important to acknowledge and validate your feelings. Give yourself space to grieve the loss of the relationship. Denying your emotions can prolong the healing process. You have the right to feel sadness, anger, confusion, and any other emotions that arise. But, what’s most important is knowing how to channel them into something bigger and meaningful. 

3. Mobilize the troops

Put the call out and surround yourself with a support system of friends, family, and even a therapist. They are the support system who will help you navigate the breakup battlefield by allowing you to express yourself and by being a sounding board for the heartbreak woes. 

4. Practice self-care

During this tough time, taking care of yourself is paramount. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether that be exercise, meditation, spending time with loved ones, or getting goofy-silly and dancing in the living room in your underwear to ‘Break Free’ by Queen. These moments are where you can be in the moment, let go, focus, realign, bring yourself back to center and give breath to the things that matter: you.

5. Reflect

Use this time to reflect on the relationship and its dynamics. What did you learn? What would you do differently in the future? What do you want in your next relationship? What will you do differently in the future? Reflecting on these aspects can help you grow and make better choices in future relationships.

6. Avoid the blame game

It’s easy to fall into a pattern of blaming yourself or your ex-partner for the breakup. While self-reflection is important, it’s important to avoid dwelling and pointing fingers when talking about a breakup. One of the ways you can do this is by changing your blame statements from ‘they never treated me right’ and ‘we should’ve broken up a long time ago’ to healthy statements like ‘we weren’t right for each other’ or ‘our paths no longer aligned.’ These statements will help effectively cope, reduce any emotional baggage and eliminate any unnecessary misguided and resentment. 

7. Make yourself your new focal point

A breakup can be an opportunity for significant personal growth. Take this time to invest in yourself – pursue new hobbies, learn new skills, and work on becoming the best version of yourself.

8. Embrace the change

Change is an inevitable part of life. Embrace the changes that come with the end of a relationship. This might involve redefining your goals, reshaping your social circle, and discovering new passions.

9. Avoid rebound relationships

Avoiding rebound relationships is essential for emotional well-being. After a breakup, it’s natural to seek comfort and connection. And even though we all have our ‘needs’ – yes you know what I’m talking about, rushing into a new relationship too quickly can hinder what you need the most, which is the time to heal. Taking time to reflect on the past relationship, understand your emotions, and rebuild your self-esteem is crucial

Ask yourself: Am I entering a new relationship for the right reasons or is this a way to fill a void or escape loneliness? Give yourself the space and time needed to heal, grow, and learn from the past before embarking on a new romantic journey. This will increase your chances of forming healthier, more fulfilling connections in the future.

10. Cut ties

While you may have the bright idea of staying in touch or that meeting up with your ex could help with closure, you’re only prolonging heartbreak. That is why cutting ties (in a healthy fashion) is probably one of the most important steps of a breakup. And one you will thank yourself for down the line. Seizing all contact helps you detach from the relationship and regain your independence. It gives you the chance to rediscover who you are outside of the relationship and what your future without them will look like. 

That’s it.

Navigating the choppy waters of a breakup is undoubtedly a challenging process, but it’s also an opportunity for growth, self-discovery and renewal. By allowing yourself to grieve, seeking support, practicing self-care, and embracing change, you can gradually heal and move forward. Remember that you are not defined by your relationship status or even any relationship for that matter — and this difficult experience can pave the way for a brighter future.

Feature photo: KAL VISUALS / Unsplash

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Welcome to Episode 55 of the Gent’s Talk podcast, where we sat down with Justin Lee, J.D. The family lawyer has grown quite the social media following with his divorce lawyer-based content. During our conversation, Lee unloaded a wealth of information tackling everything from prenuptial agreements to equalizing net family assets. Justin’s core message is: Couples should see a divorce lawyer before marriage. It can save a lot of headaches.

From his experience, he’s noticed that most people do not know what’s really happening to them after they say, “I do.” That’s why Justin offers free consultations and encourages couples to book them. Whether you’re looking to get married or simply common-law, it is wise to seek legal advice to protect yourself from worst-case scenarios. JLEE Family Law offers personalized and strategic advice to help you understand your legal rights and make informed decisions.

See Also: Gent’s Talk: Ep. 54- A Sit-Down w/ Director X

Divorce

Listen as Justin breaks down the law and lets us know why it may appear that men get the short end of the stick when it comes to divorce proceedings. He clarified very early (and often) that the law isn’t “out to get men.” Rather, it’s an issue of who was the primary caregiver/breadwinner before the divorce that determines who continues to care for the children. He did acknowledge that there is a major disparity between the court vs spouses’ value of domestic labour.

Many do not know that a couple has to be separated for a year before a divorce can be finalized. Although adultery and (physical/emotional) harm are factors that can negate this, the ability to prove it is such is a long (and expensive) process. Lee suggests a year-long separation because it will likely yield the same results (without the added expenses). Speaking of lengthy and costly, Justin told us no one wins in court. He forewarned that “it is to your benefit, your family’s benefit, and the children’s benefit to settle outside of court.” If there is an impasse and settling is no longer an option, going to court is a last resort method.

Prenuptial Agreements

As the majority of the questions tend to surround the topic of prenups, Justin went into detail about the intricacies of prenuptial agreements and what can and cannot be included. He stated that there isn’t a situation where a couple shouldn’t get a prenup, but there are times when it may not be required.

Knowing what happens after you say, “I do,” is imperative. The only way to know what happens after you get into a binding contract (which is exactly what a marriage is) is to talk to a lawyer before. Please tune into Episode xx for the entire conversation with Justin Lee as he talks about what happens to the marital home and whether marriage is for him.

About Gent’s Talk

Bulova Canada presents Episode 55 of Gent’s Talk, available for streaming on YouTube, Spotify, Goodpods, iHeartRadio, Apple and Google Podcasts! It is filmed at StartWell Studios in Toronto. You can now catch Season 1 and 2 on all Air Canada flights! Your continued support throughout this journey is appreciated. Thank you!

The post Gent’s Talk: Ep. 55 – A sit-down w/ Justin Lee appeared first on GENT'S POST.